The one who got away

After the night of bottled anger, the following morning the manager decided to give every single staff member a talk that pushed aside everything we had done right and revealed the only things we did wrong.  It was my turn to get chewed out and I’ll bullet point some of the things that I was criticized about.

• Lack of motivation; Apparently in their eyes, I lacked motivation on doing plenty of things, and this includes the side-jobs, my lack of good service to those that don’t look worthy of it, and generally my all around laziness.
• Customer service; I’m not gonna say that I shine amongst the rest though I can indeed say that I’ve gotten quite a steady amount of regulars and they do tend to pay for my bills so when it comes to new people who don’t necessarily look that they’d spend any money I don’t even bother.

I’d put those two at the most important ones.

Enough about me because this wasn’t necessarily the saddest thing that happened, it was with another staff member.  It ended in tears and with two servers talking to each other about how the one who got away wasn’t given any credit.  For anything.

Remember Ms. Phoebe?  I talked about her once and sad to say, it was a short lived relationship.  She was with us for no more than a month and it was a fantastic month, she decided to leave after being verbally abused by the owners and chefs.  The sad thing was that she was hired on a whim due to lack of servers.  She memorized the menu as hard as she can and she even decided to dedicate enough time to getting to know everyone, only for “everyone” to tell her that she was lazy.  She wasn’t as efficient as Adan though I would say that they we’re at the same level when he first started and they didn’t terminate his employment as soon as they did Phoebe’s.  Had they given her enough time to adapt she would’ve been as good as any of us, additionally too was that she was a woman.

Now I’ve talked about something along the lines of these before, we fire people as soon as we hire them and servers try not to get close to new employees until they break the point of familiarity.  I feel bad for breaking the rule that I spoke though I feel worse for her being treated unfairly.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

Anger.

Often times we find ourselves in positions that induce anger or rage and in a situation like this, we stop and stare at ourselves only to see a bottle filled with hatred within ourselves.  Tonight at the restaurant happened to be one of the days that I dread ever since the restaurant had opened for the first time.  A chaotic Friday, much more crazy than the past Fridays before, enough to merit a long waiting list and both kitchens getting their ass handed to them by the sheer volume of people ordering.  For what it seemed, the restaurant was falling into shambles and it was not due to the servers or the hostesses but rather it was lack of competency from both kitchens, Sushi and the Back kitchen.

Food was taking so long come out and it was so bad that I had a table walk out because their meals we’re taking so long and it took roughly 45 Minutes till their first courses came out and so did they.  The manager was doing his best to help and it was much appreciated though everyone knew that he was going to bitch at everyone at the end of the service.  Sure enough towards the end of the service he decides to cut the servers and take every table for himself to apparently “teach” everyone a lesson.  This made me so mad because it was very unreasonable and in all honesty everyone in the restaurant was doing their best and to be called out on the lack of performance does actually hurt.

I’ve never wanted to quit the restaurant and that thought had never even crossed my mind until today.  At the end of the shift we we’re given a little talk, apparently we weren’t up to his standards and we got called out on every single thing we had.  I’m frustrated right now, exhausted and actually fairly inebriated so I’ll go ahead and lay down, I’ll probably write the rest of what was on my mind.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

An apology and reasons.

I haven’t been able to write very much due to the fact that I’ve been supremely busy, though this not a reasonable excuse for my lack of tracking my days and keeping a public diary.  Now I’m not necessarily blaming it all on waiting tables, having a fast paced life, sleeping in plenty and the gin-tonics I’ve consumed; it’s mostly just me not having enough energy or motivation to write.  There’s been some pretty big events in the restaurant, getting fired, hired, regulars, reviews, rants and so much more.  Now I’m planning to do a crash-course on what has happened to the restaurant and everything else relating it so I’d suggest putting on a helmet, grabbing some popcorn and beer or your favorite glass of chardonnay or cabernet.

 

Fired.

Now remember that bartender?  The one who was an obvious alcoholic and seems to be facing a relapse every moment that she’s serving drinks?  Yes, Ms. Lindsay.  A bartender who has some obvious drinking problems, to the point of keeping drinks to herself while “making” new ones to serve to the owners.  It was an obvious downward spiral, and it was damn near depressing to watch.  Now enter mid February, around the 16th and she misses the shift which she was scheduled for, two hours pass by and the phone rings and un-surprisingly it was from the devil herself.  Lindsay gives a tone of emergency, a sense of panic and lets the owner know that she won’t be able to get to work for that day and not for a solid month.  She informs the owners that her family had checked her in a rehab for her problems, and for what seemed as a twenty minute conversation it all boiled down to her being terminated from her position as a bar tender.  Good riddance as a way of saying “enjoy your life”.  The restaurant has been operating much smoother and it feels so good not to have a crazy go up to you and bitch about her life that no one really cares about.

Hired.

Restaurants hire people as fast as we fire them, it’s nothing new and we’ve hired a new server.  Enter Phoebe, a strange woman whose sense of humour was as strange as eating a hotdog without ketchup and mustard.  She isn’t exactly new to waiting tables though she is to the world of sushi.  Not much is known about this stranger other than the obvious things, she barely knows the menu, she’s actually fun to be around with and everyone seems to enjoy being around her so I’ll try and update this whenever we learn more about her.  The crew goes to play pool and share a couple drinks every Monday and she’s joined us twice, hopefully this number doesn’t get cut short.  Two days ago we hired a new bar tender, server hybrid since our bar tender has to pick up the slack left behind by Ms. Lindsay.  Rob joins the staff and he is now in training, and hopefully faces the same fate as what we hope for Phoebe.

Now I’ve decided to find a new addiction, it involves Neil Patrick Harris and How I Met Your Mother. I blame not writing actually on this show… now I am hooked and find every way possible to watch it, from Netflix on my iPhone  to me sitting at home and this has taken quite an effect on me writing… So I apologize to you, the person who cares enough to read stories of a waiter, someone who’s mildly entertained if at all by the strange stories I tell.  Thank you if you still happen to come across my little restaurant, I appreciate your patronage and would love to see you more, hell even sending it to some people you know or hate.

Thank you so much dear reader, I do appreciate you.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

The calm before the storm.

The following day will be one of the busiest the restaurant will ever be, the day of lovers, the day of sub-par service, the day of trying to impress and lastly the day to make plenty of cash.  Today was surprisingly slow, enough to give us some room to breathe for the upcoming waves of couples, the calm before the storm as you can say and imagine.

Starved by the idea that fine food is the sweetest thing that a couple could share in one night without having to commit for 9 months, restaurants worldwide are preparing for the onslaught.  Folding excessive amounts of napkins, making sure everything is stocked plenty, having enough champagne bottles to shower with and briefing the servers about what is going to go down.

I honestly expected that today would be a busy day, busy enough that I wouldn’t bitch about not making any money but that did not happen.  Instead I was dumbfounded by the amount of people who would rather not spend money with their significant other.  I had one table who actually stood out from the rest of these cheap bastards, the couple was roughly in their 50s and it didn’t bother me any.  They spent a miniscule total of $70 and they still found the heart to give me $20.  Nothing was interesting aside that they had given a good gratuity and had given me something to be happy about.

Today is the day to calm down, the day to realize ourselves, to ready ourselves and to memorize the specials to be said.  To servers, Valentines Day is nothing more than a money pit.  Most servers do have lives outside the walls of their restaurant and it’s nothing out of the ordinary to not spend it with your significant other if you are a server.  There are other, better days to eat out so once you serve in this industry, you realize and open your eyes that the only thing and reason that you find yourself at a restaurant on Valentines Day is to impress, not necessarily enjoy.

I expect tomorrow will be quite a lengthy post and I sure hope so.  I’d love to look back onto what I did before a couple years from now.

Time to relax a little, sip on this whiskey and close my eyes.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

 

Dreaded 10%

It’s never a good night when by the time you check out, you realize that most of the tips you earned for the night don’t even amount to 20% of your sales, generally 18% and above is a good thing but when you start seeing the tips on the bills only nearing 10%, it makes one wonder why this happens.  Quality of food doesn’t constitute a bad tip, generally if the food is mediocre, that is looked at as good enough and would merit another visit but when the service is terrible, no matter how good the food is, you’ll always find yourself in a tough predicament.

I don’t necessarily have much room to say because I feel that the way I was treating my tables was very sub-par and I’m not completely upset, I mean I made a decent amount of money and I was just expecting more.  No regulars of mine came today, I was stuck with people who worship Happy Hour as a deity and treated that little menu as a bible.  I’m hoping to make good money because I still have to take my girl out on Valentines day(for us Valentines day is not on the 14th), the tackiest holiday ever and I’ll be so busy during that day.  I’m looking forward to the rush that will pound the restaurant, I’m looking forward to the chaos that’s gonna run rampant and truly, I am looking forward to that money.  Hey, after all, I do need it.

Today wasn’t a bad day, nor was it good.  I just really dislike getting that dreaded 10%.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

More than just customers.

The month of February walks by and the first Friday of the month comes in,  what is regarded as Black History Month is actually regarded as the month of lovers, or at least for the restaurants.  I enjoy the chaos that the restaurant brings us, it almost brings a sense of calmness and a point of meditation and that is exactly what we need when we are being slammed.

The moment of panic finds its way, creeping in to everyone in the restaurant, the cooks, servers and hell even the dishwasher and it all goes haywire for about twenty minutes.  Slowly picking up where we all left off, a familiar face walks inside my restaurant.  Regulars of mine walk in, they’ve always came together and sometimes they bring their friends, it is to the extent that I think they are more than just my customers and I’d be lying if I say that I don’t look at them as friends.  They’ve been coming every now and then since the restaurant had opened though it seemed that there was a period in which they didn’t come at all, and today was the day I found out why.

A slender man and his sister walk towards the receiving table of the hostess, they had specifically requested to served by yours truly and that was nothing new, they have been my regular customers ever since I started this job and today was no different.  They’ve placed themselves in my care with so much trust in our relationship that they’d let me order their courses for them.  I had decided to let them know of what is actually being cut fresh and what would make a good first course, off-course they started with what was fresh and it happened to be a new style of Maguro sashimi, followed by a second course of Saikyo Miso Seabass, all was going well and everything seemed to be going the right direction, drinks we’re pouring and cocktails are moving.  It was all a server would want, a table of great people, willing to joke around and people who appreciate your company.

All is going smooth and at the corner of my eye I see a empty plate of what they had for dinner, I thought to myself that it was just fine and I went ahead and suggested them a desert that they have yet to have in my restaurant, needless to say they we’re very impressed.  Dinner service for them was about to end, they took some one more cocktail to share and I hand them the bill.  The bill wasn’t something that would be considered high but part of that was because of their company, they made my night that much better.  I was being skipped on the rotation for some insane reason and people just didn’t seem to be sat in my section, monetary wise I was being fucked in the ass.  Then these people come in, all smiles and with the want to even talk to me and this alone put a smile on my face.  I’ve always enjoyed their company and sure their generosity goes a long way but that isn’t even why I’m happy to see them, this is a point in which your customer becomes more than just someone who pays your bills.

They pay for their tab and end up staying for a little while, we talk and since they often ask what times and days I work and since it does change, I decided to give them my e-mail address and to just shoot me a message and out of sheer enjoyment I let them in on the secret of this blog and actually mention to them the reaction of some people when they read the story I wrote about them.  I told them that it included my whole interaction with them and even with the kid who had changed my outlook on waiting tables, only for them to tell me that that child had passed away.  A rock fell in my heart and I couldn’t help but shed a tear, I wanted to do more but I had to hold myself up, it all seemed so dark and cruel yet I had no way to recollect myself.  I hope all is well for them and I do wish them the best, I’m at the position where I would be willing to do as they ask without the need for gratuity, inside and outside of my restaurant.

If you are reading this my dear friends, I hope that all is well and I hope to see your faces for many more times to come.

I thank you for being so kind, and more so I thank you for being a friend.

Sincerely,

Your friend and waiter today.

 

& for those who have no idea who I’m referring to, this is the blog post about them that I had wrote before.

http://bit.ly/A8uvZL

Thin Mints.

Ah Thin Mints, my favorite kind of girl scout cookies and what better way to support them than to buy a box of cookies for $5 and them only get about $.50, oh the joys of greed.(I’m not really one to talk…)

I served a mom and her little daughter, no older than 10 but no younger than 8. The little girl was wearing a girl scout uniform, it was adorable while her mom was wearing stripper heels, a very tight dress and that was ok to me since the mother was extremely attractive. They decided to take a break from their job of selling girl scout cookies and eat, it was chilly outside and why the hell should they suffer while everyone was pigging out and stuffing their face with raw fish. They aren’t the most knowledgeable of all things sushi so I explained to them the difference between nigiri and sashimi, the difference between the toro and maguro, of sake-toro and sake, all while retaining a relax and friendly composure. They told me that they love salmon and they would be happy with a California Roll and an order of Salmon sashimi so I told them jokingly that I’d let them order that in trade for my favorite kind of girl scout cookies, thin mints off-course and they just laughed and said sure.

I found myself laughing because I could literally devour a box of those in a matter of minutes and that doesn’t help with me wanting to work-out and stop gaining so much weight from the restaurant alone. I serve them their food and they asked for another round of California Roll, I put the order and as fast as a Big Mac comes out of McDonalds, a California Roll comes out almost as fast. The bill comes up and it’s as I expected, not high at all. This didn’t matter much to me as a child doesn’t even matter in headcount because of how little they consume so I present the bill, they put a couple of dollars in and I walk inside the kitchen. While holding two glasses of water for a different table, they are leaving and saying goodbye to me, I do the same.

I walk to the table to clean up and grab the ticket, and in the corner of my eye. I see a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies! I was ecstatic, I wasn’t expecting this at all and for them to actually leave one definitely made my day.

These kind of people show me that, hard work pays off. The little girl was probably out selling cookies all day and was rewarded with California Rolls, to some people that might be nothing but to her it was what she had been wanting. I hope that all this hard work I’m doing will pay off in the long run, but just for the day. I think it already did, all thanks to that little girl.

The next time I see you in my restaurant, you bet that I’ll take good care of you. Free sushi, ice cream and whatever you want.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

Plastic

Now I’m not talking about the traditional plastics of Barbie dolls; tall, blonde, skinny, sun-baked and incredibly attractive and as dull as a butter knife in terms of intelligence.  I’m talking about a much more different breed of plastic, the men and women who act highly in front a crowd of friends but inside know that what they spew is all garbage.

Today was a rather slow day, to be expected on a rainy day.  Skip the details on side-jobs and all the sexual harassment done in the first 2 hours and it suddenly is 6 in the evening.  Enter a party of 12 women, celebrating a friends birthday.

Happy Hour is still active and the party decided to get nothing other than the cheap stuff, not surprising but still not what I’d expect from someone celebrating their birth.  Long story short their bill goes up to $270 and a tip no more than $40.

I love cheap stuff as much as the next guy but the fact is they weren’t talking about “cheap” stuff and instead decided to talk about where they plan to travel next, what the new dress they bought is, and all other things that made it seem they had the money when they specifically ask the waiter if doing something would cost extra and when I tell them that adding cream cheese on their roll will cost an extra dollar they decide to get something else.  Don’t pretend, act within your means and maybe I’ll start respecting you and treating you better.  I have customers who I know could barely afford to eat out and let alone tip and I even see them tip me because they know that this is a job for me, they respect me so in turn I respect them.

I’m just ranting because I had to clean up quite a good amount of shit for a tip that didn’t touch enough.

I’m exhausted and I haven’t eaten anything all day… Thank god I have a box of Girl Scout cookies, Thin Mints to be exact.

Time to kick back and gain weight… as I watch Ides of March.

Good night!

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

Why we do it.

A question often asked but rarely answered.  Why do we wait tables?  Why would we bother with a job with as much security as a padlock, why this profession?  Simply because people in this field of work are addicted.  Whether that addiction is to drugs, alcohol, sex or whatever the case may be, one thing that all servers have in common is their addiction to money.

Sure, easy enough can people say that they are addicted to money but how many of those would be willing to gamble?  Servers live in a world powered by short-term satisfaction, we enjoy the sudden realization that we have what we have and that the next table might be our key to paying our bills.  Much like a gambler, a server does not have a clue how his earnings are gonna be, some nights can ruin a server and net him no more than a cab ride home or one drink at the Cheesecake Factory but then there are also nights when a server can work one shift and pay off his entire rent for the month; we are hooked to the idea that it will get better and that the next one is the key, often times we don’t realize this and this rubs off as something normal to us servers.

We don’t do it because we enjoy kissing ass.  Anyone who truly enjoys this should not be in the field of fine-dining but instead should be whoring themselves out in an alley.  Sure there might be a couple sicko’s who do enjoy sucking up for a quick buck but more so than not your waiter doesn’t wanna see your face anymore than they wanna scrub the floor.  Waiters are pessimistic by nature, a defense that protects us from the harsh light of reality, the reality that some people just don’t respect our field of work.  So when we get a bad tip we aren’t completely devastated and left in shock, instead we look, curse and move on.

We do what we do because of the thrill it gives, the idea that we can get so much in so little time for the least amount of work.  We do it because we need the satisfaction that we could only get from happy glutinous people thanking us for such a great service when we really hated them.  We do it because you won’t.

Being a server is a damn near thankless job, we do it because no one else would.  We expect to be thanked in monetary gratuity, I mean sure your words can mean a lot but we can’t pay our electricity with thank you’s.

T0day was one of the nights when I had no regulars come in and instead the restaurant came a blaze with the restaurant only having one hostess and four servers.  I had plenty of tables, not quality but the way I made money was from the sheer quantity of them, majority of the people who came today tipped an average of 12%, that is horseshit.  Chaos erupted and food was not on time, everything went wrong yet I still found it relaxing and even beautiful that we we’re stuck in a position like that, no order and no rules.  Something that I’d like to get used to.

I’m writing this because I feel as though people don’t appreciate what we do nor do they know just how difficult it is to serve.  This is also why a fellow or past server is the best tipper, they know how it is.

I’m gonna finish this glass of water and sleep, my body aches and I have so much to do tomorrow.  I just had to get that off my chest…

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

Hosting

Now Age isn’t a completely off-topic factor in the restaurant business.  Servers range from the age of 20 till your upper 40’s even, but what I’m gonna be talking about is the hostesses.

A hostesses job is to be the very first face seen when you step into our restaurant, they are responsible for sitting the customers, picking up phone calls, standing at the host desk looking pretty, and generally eye candy.  Now I have to agree that I’ve seen a pretty fair share of very attractive hostesses and I can’t even say that I haven’t seen restaurant owners date his hostesses, they are present not because we need them, but because it is one of the finer luxuries in fine dining.

For what they do it seems a thankless job, they do quite a lot and occasionally even helps servers clean up the tables when the server is busy.  They don’t get tips aside from what to-go orders are put and even that is a rarity, they get paid a flat wage and they don’t average nearly as much as us servers do.  Hostesses have no restaurant experience thus they enter the entry level position and they tend to work for sometime and eventually get to the position of waiter or waitress.  So it bothers me to see my fellow servers treat our hostesses like dirt, when they are just trying to do their job.

Recently the owner decided to hire a hostess, fairly good looking and for what it seemed she was competent.  Though one thing that she was lacking in was age.  She was too young to be in a environment such as our workplace and it kind of shows because she almost seems awkward when asked to do something though when she does it, it is executed with grace.  I’m not necessarily saying that she’s a bad worker nor am I saying that she’s good, it looks like she’s an inbetweener(what kind of word is that…).

Today at the restaurant wasn’t necessarily eventful, other than the fact that I got to see the new hostess and eat a cut of NY Prime Reserve steak, all was bleak and money was shallow and here is me hoping for a better tomorrow.

(My rhyming is getting better, maybe I should step into the music industry now.)

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.