Plastic

Now I’m not talking about the traditional plastics of Barbie dolls; tall, blonde, skinny, sun-baked and incredibly attractive and as dull as a butter knife in terms of intelligence.  I’m talking about a much more different breed of plastic, the men and women who act highly in front a crowd of friends but inside know that what they spew is all garbage.

Today was a rather slow day, to be expected on a rainy day.  Skip the details on side-jobs and all the sexual harassment done in the first 2 hours and it suddenly is 6 in the evening.  Enter a party of 12 women, celebrating a friends birthday.

Happy Hour is still active and the party decided to get nothing other than the cheap stuff, not surprising but still not what I’d expect from someone celebrating their birth.  Long story short their bill goes up to $270 and a tip no more than $40.

I love cheap stuff as much as the next guy but the fact is they weren’t talking about “cheap” stuff and instead decided to talk about where they plan to travel next, what the new dress they bought is, and all other things that made it seem they had the money when they specifically ask the waiter if doing something would cost extra and when I tell them that adding cream cheese on their roll will cost an extra dollar they decide to get something else.  Don’t pretend, act within your means and maybe I’ll start respecting you and treating you better.  I have customers who I know could barely afford to eat out and let alone tip and I even see them tip me because they know that this is a job for me, they respect me so in turn I respect them.

I’m just ranting because I had to clean up quite a good amount of shit for a tip that didn’t touch enough.

I’m exhausted and I haven’t eaten anything all day… Thank god I have a box of Girl Scout cookies, Thin Mints to be exact.

Time to kick back and gain weight… as I watch Ides of March.

Good night!

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

Karma will get you

Two women come in the restaurant, one looked like a barbie doll and the other a heavier barbie.  Both plastic, both looking like complete bitches.  This was not my customers as they we’re Adan’s and what I’d like to remember this day is how people can stomach themselves, specially when doing things that should never be done in a restaurant.

These women asked so much of Adan, and I’m quite positive he gave them the best service he could but these bitches still found a way to shaft him.  They ordered plenty of alcohol and even made specifications on their meal, “no this, no that, extra this, easy that” and this went on for quite sometime.  Orders are done and these women are on their way to happiness, Adan notices that this table is done eating and seemed like that they are in a hurry, so he does the most logical thing to do, give them their tab.  The women put their credit card in the tab and Adan quickly picks it up, runs it and gives it back to them, the women sign the paper, stood up and hustled out of the restaurant(notice I didn’t say walk, they fuckin practically ran).  Adan realizing this, thought nothing more than these women are just in a rush, as he cleans up his table, he takes a peek at the folder, only to see that the women took both the Merchant Copy and the Customer copy of the receipt.  They did not leave him a tip.

I’ve always believed in the saying “if you don’t have enough money to tip, you don’t have enough money to eat out” and I do wish these bitches believed in it too.  It’s one to leave a garbage tip, even if it is 5%, it is still 5% of something, these women left Adan 100% of nothing.  Sure people say what goes around comes around, but unless these people work in a restaurant, they would never know how it feels to not get any money for the service you give them.  I hope they come back to the restaurant, and if they do I swear to the highest being that I will try my best to make their stay the worst and make them regret ever screwing over someone like that.

Karma will get you and I cannot wait for that to happen, maybe next time you’ll think of being decent and leaving atleast $5 next time.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.