Starved by the idea that fine food is the sweetest thing that a couple could share in one night without having to commit for 9 months, restaurants worldwide are preparing for the onslaught.  Folding excessive amounts of napkins, making sure everything is stocked plenty, having enough champagne bottles to shower with and briefing the servers about what is going to go down.

I honestly expected that today would be a busy day, busy enough that I wouldn’t bitch about not making any money but that did not happen.  Instead I was dumbfounded by the amount of people who would rather not spend money with their significant other.  I had one table who actually stood out from the rest of these cheap bastards, the couple was roughly in their 50s and it didn’t bother me any.  They spent a miniscule total of $70 and they still found the heart to give me $20.  Nothing was interesting aside that they had given a good gratuity and had given me something to be happy about.

Today is the day to calm down, the day to realize ourselves, to ready ourselves and to memorize the specials to be said.  To servers, Valentines Day is nothing more than a money pit.  Most servers do have lives outside the walls of their restaurant and it’s nothing out of the ordinary to not spend it with your significant other if you are a server.  There are other, better days to eat out so once you serve in this industry, you realize and open your eyes that the only thing and reason that you find yourself at a restaurant on Valentines Day is to impress, not necessarily enjoy.

I expect tomorrow will be quite a lengthy post and I sure hope so.  I’d love to look back onto what I did before a couple years from now.

Time to relax a little, sip on this whiskey and close my eyes.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

I don’t necessarily have much room to say because I feel that the way I was treating my tables was very sub-par and I’m not completely upset, I mean I made a decent amount of money and I was just expecting more.  No regulars of mine came today, I was stuck with people who worship Happy Hour as a deity and treated that little menu as a bible.  I’m hoping to make good money because I still have to take my girl out on Valentines day(for us Valentines day is not on the 14th), the tackiest holiday ever and I’ll be so busy during that day.  I’m looking forward to the rush that will pound the restaurant, I’m looking forward to the chaos that’s gonna run rampant and truly, I am looking forward to that money.  Hey, after all, I do need it.

Today wasn’t a bad day, nor was it good.  I just really dislike getting that dreaded 10%.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

The moment of panic finds its way, creeping in to everyone in the restaurant, the cooks, servers and hell even the dishwasher and it all goes haywire for about twenty minutes.  Slowly picking up where we all left off, a familiar face walks inside my restaurant.  Regulars of mine walk in, they’ve always came together and sometimes they bring their friends, it is to the extent that I think they are more than just my customers and I’d be lying if I say that I don’t look at them as friends.  They’ve been coming every now and then since the restaurant had opened though it seemed that there was a period in which they didn’t come at all, and today was the day I found out why.

A slender man and his sister walk towards the receiving table of the hostess, they had specifically requested to served by yours truly and that was nothing new, they have been my regular customers ever since I started this job and today was no different.  They’ve placed themselves in my care with so much trust in our relationship that they’d let me order their courses for them.  I had decided to let them know of what is actually being cut fresh and what would make a good first course, off-course they started with what was fresh and it happened to be a new style of Maguro sashimi, followed by a second course of Saikyo Miso Seabass, all was going well and everything seemed to be going the right direction, drinks we’re pouring and cocktails are moving.  It was all a server would want, a table of great people, willing to joke around and people who appreciate your company.

All is going smooth and at the corner of my eye I see a empty plate of what they had for dinner, I thought to myself that it was just fine and I went ahead and suggested them a desert that they have yet to have in my restaurant, needless to say they we’re very impressed.  Dinner service for them was about to end, they took some one more cocktail to share and I hand them the bill.  The bill wasn’t something that would be considered high but part of that was because of their company, they made my night that much better.  I was being skipped on the rotation for some insane reason and people just didn’t seem to be sat in my section, monetary wise I was being fucked in the ass.  Then these people come in, all smiles and with the want to even talk to me and this alone put a smile on my face.  I’ve always enjoyed their company and sure their generosity goes a long way but that isn’t even why I’m happy to see them, this is a point in which your customer becomes more than just someone who pays your bills.

They pay for their tab and end up staying for a little while, we talk and since they often ask what times and days I work and since it does change, I decided to give them my e-mail address and to just shoot me a message and out of sheer enjoyment I let them in on the secret of this blog and actually mention to them the reaction of some people when they read the story I wrote about them.  I told them that it included my whole interaction with them and even with the kid who had changed my outlook on waiting tables, only for them to tell me that that child had passed away.  A rock fell in my heart and I couldn’t help but shed a tear, I wanted to do more but I had to hold myself up, it all seemed so dark and cruel yet I had no way to recollect myself.  I hope all is well for them and I do wish them the best, I’m at the position where I would be willing to do as they ask without the need for gratuity, inside and outside of my restaurant.

If you are reading this my dear friends, I hope that all is well and I hope to see your faces for many more times to come.

I thank you for being so kind, and more so I thank you for being a friend.

Sincerely,

Your friend and waiter today.

& for those who have no idea who I’m referring to, this is the blog post about them that I had wrote before.

http://bit.ly/A8uvZL

I served a mom and her little daughter, no older than 10 but no younger than 8. The little girl was wearing a girl scout uniform, it was adorable while her mom was wearing stripper heels, a very tight dress and that was ok to me since the mother was extremely attractive. They decided to take a break from their job of selling girl scout cookies and eat, it was chilly outside and why the hell should they suffer while everyone was pigging out and stuffing their face with raw fish. They aren’t the most knowledgeable of all things sushi so I explained to them the difference between nigiri and sashimi, the difference between the toro and maguro, of sake-toro and sake, all while retaining a relax and friendly composure. They told me that they love salmon and they would be happy with a California Roll and an order of Salmon sashimi so I told them jokingly that I’d let them order that in trade for my favorite kind of girl scout cookies, thin mints off-course and they just laughed and said sure.

I found myself laughing because I could literally devour a box of those in a matter of minutes and that doesn’t help with me wanting to work-out and stop gaining so much weight from the restaurant alone. I serve them their food and they asked for another round of California Roll, I put the order and as fast as a Big Mac comes out of McDonalds, a California Roll comes out almost as fast. The bill comes up and it’s as I expected, not high at all. This didn’t matter much to me as a child doesn’t even matter in headcount because of how little they consume so I present the bill, they put a couple of dollars in and I walk inside the kitchen. While holding two glasses of water for a different table, they are leaving and saying goodbye to me, I do the same.

I walk to the table to clean up and grab the ticket, and in the corner of my eye. I see a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies! I was ecstatic, I wasn’t expecting this at all and for them to actually leave one definitely made my day.

These kind of people show me that, hard work pays off. The little girl was probably out selling cookies all day and was rewarded with California Rolls, to some people that might be nothing but to her it was what she had been wanting. I hope that all this hard work I’m doing will pay off in the long run, but just for the day. I think it already did, all thanks to that little girl.

The next time I see you in my restaurant, you bet that I’ll take good care of you. Free sushi, ice cream and whatever you want.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

Today was a rather slow day, to be expected on a rainy day.  Skip the details on side-jobs and all the sexual harassment done in the first 2 hours and it suddenly is 6 in the evening.  Enter a party of 12 women, celebrating a friends birthday.

Happy Hour is still active and the party decided to get nothing other than the cheap stuff, not surprising but still not what I’d expect from someone celebrating their birth.  Long story short their bill goes up to $270 and a tip no more than $40.

I love cheap stuff as much as the next guy but the fact is they weren’t talking about “cheap” stuff and instead decided to talk about where they plan to travel next, what the new dress they bought is, and all other things that made it seem they had the money when they specifically ask the waiter if doing something would cost extra and when I tell them that adding cream cheese on their roll will cost an extra dollar they decide to get something else.  Don’t pretend, act within your means and maybe I’ll start respecting you and treating you better.  I have customers who I know could barely afford to eat out and let alone tip and I even see them tip me because they know that this is a job for me, they respect me so in turn I respect them.

I’m just ranting because I had to clean up quite a good amount of shit for a tip that didn’t touch enough.

I’m exhausted and I haven’t eaten anything all day… Thank god I have a box of Girl Scout cookies, Thin Mints to be exact.

Time to kick back and gain weight… as I watch Ides of March.

Good night!

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

Sure, easy enough can people say that they are addicted to money but how many of those would be willing to gamble?  Servers live in a world powered by short-term satisfaction, we enjoy the sudden realization that we have what we have and that the next table might be our key to paying our bills.  Much like a gambler, a server does not have a clue how his earnings are gonna be, some nights can ruin a server and net him no more than a cab ride home or one drink at the Cheesecake Factory but then there are also nights when a server can work one shift and pay off his entire rent for the month; we are hooked to the idea that it will get better and that the next one is the key, often times we don’t realize this and this rubs off as something normal to us servers.

We don’t do it because we enjoy kissing ass.  Anyone who truly enjoys this should not be in the field of fine-dining but instead should be whoring themselves out in an alley.  Sure there might be a couple sicko’s who do enjoy sucking up for a quick buck but more so than not your waiter doesn’t wanna see your face anymore than they wanna scrub the floor.  Waiters are pessimistic by nature, a defense that protects us from the harsh light of reality, the reality that some people just don’t respect our field of work.  So when we get a bad tip we aren’t completely devastated and left in shock, instead we look, curse and move on.

We do what we do because of the thrill it gives, the idea that we can get so much in so little time for the least amount of work.  We do it because we need the satisfaction that we could only get from happy glutinous people thanking us for such a great service when we really hated them.  We do it because you won’t.

Being a server is a damn near thankless job, we do it because no one else would.  We expect to be thanked in monetary gratuity, I mean sure your words can mean a lot but we can’t pay our electricity with thank you’s.

T0day was one of the nights when I had no regulars come in and instead the restaurant came a blaze with the restaurant only having one hostess and four servers.  I had plenty of tables, not quality but the way I made money was from the sheer quantity of them, majority of the people who came today tipped an average of 12%, that is horseshit.  Chaos erupted and food was not on time, everything went wrong yet I still found it relaxing and even beautiful that we we’re stuck in a position like that, no order and no rules.  Something that I’d like to get used to.

I’m writing this because I feel as though people don’t appreciate what we do nor do they know just how difficult it is to serve.  This is also why a fellow or past server is the best tipper, they know how it is.

I’m gonna finish this glass of water and sleep, my body aches and I have so much to do tomorrow.  I just had to get that off my chest…

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

A hostesses job is to be the very first face seen when you step into our restaurant, they are responsible for sitting the customers, picking up phone calls, standing at the host desk looking pretty, and generally eye candy.  Now I have to agree that I’ve seen a pretty fair share of very attractive hostesses and I can’t even say that I haven’t seen restaurant owners date his hostesses, they are present not because we need them, but because it is one of the finer luxuries in fine dining.

For what they do it seems a thankless job, they do quite a lot and occasionally even helps servers clean up the tables when the server is busy.  They don’t get tips aside from what to-go orders are put and even that is a rarity, they get paid a flat wage and they don’t average nearly as much as us servers do.  Hostesses have no restaurant experience thus they enter the entry level position and they tend to work for sometime and eventually get to the position of waiter or waitress.  So it bothers me to see my fellow servers treat our hostesses like dirt, when they are just trying to do their job.

Recently the owner decided to hire a hostess, fairly good looking and for what it seemed she was competent.  Though one thing that she was lacking in was age.  She was too young to be in a environment such as our workplace and it kind of shows because she almost seems awkward when asked to do something though when she does it, it is executed with grace.  I’m not necessarily saying that she’s a bad worker nor am I saying that she’s good, it looks like she’s an inbetweener(what kind of word is that…).

Today at the restaurant wasn’t necessarily eventful, other than the fact that I got to see the new hostess and eat a cut of NY Prime Reserve steak, all was bleak and money was shallow and here is me hoping for a better tomorrow.

(My rhyming is getting better, maybe I should step into the music industry now.)

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

The day was rather slow and it seemed that no money was to be made and this continues till dinner is served and I look to count how much I made and I’ve summed a little under $100, not bad but not too good neither.  I was called by the owner and it gave me the idea that I had fucked up somewhere, somehow.  He told me that I’ve made some mistakes but he refuses to tell me what they we’re and instead just sends me out of the office.  I go back to where I was originally sitting and see Freshwater Eel on a layer of rice and a carrot in the shape of a rose with a candle on top, my heart skipped a beat.  The reason I got Eel Steak as my meal was because the very first meal I had at the restaurant was that very kind of eel, it made me wanna tear up because I felt that they actually knew but acted so coldly about it, it was surprising to me.  After I finish my steak, the next course comes out, a cookies and cream ice cream cake; this was astounding not only because they went over the top and got me my favorite kind of cake flavor, just knowing that they paid attention to the little conversations us servers have.

Now I know people will say that this happens to them quite often, but I believe that the people I work for really do care about their employees.  There comes a time when employees become more than your slave workers, they become a vital part of the restaurant, they become family.  When you pass the level of employee, the work flow becomes easier to handle, less problems come up, time moves by in the blink of an eye and most importantly money just comes to you.  I’m not saying that when you become close to the people you work for, life suddenly does a complete 180.  It doesn’t, your outlook becomes significantly better and you become more of an optimist.

The fact that they would spend money outside the restaurant for one of their easily replaced servers is beyond me and that just shows that you aren’t working solely for the tips, you are also working because you want to help the family succeed.  Surprises come in such strange ways, the shape of an eel and the taste of a cake.

If you we’re to ever read this my employer.  I hope you know that it is an honor to work for you and I would do to the best of my ability all I can to make sure that we both prosper.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

-Also, here’s a cellphone picture of the Eel Steak!

Looks good doesn’t it?

Barely able to operate I march to my table, with the intent to serve, so vicious that it’ll drop them dead and sure enough I nailed that first table.  I got a 50% tip as a starting point, I mean sure $15 on a $30 isn’t much but the fact that it was my first table made it all the sweeter.  The day progresses and we found ourselves in the middle of dinner service.  Restaurant packed with people and everyone speaking in a tone of liquor and raw fish, it was almost intoxicating even to the servers.  Everyone was so happy and out of the seven tables I was juggling around, four of them we’re my regulars, this night is one of the nights all servers wish to get.  Money is going great, my sales hitting a peak and the only problem I have is one table that is still waiting on their food.  This is where the night takes a turn.

A British man with his wife we’re waiting on an entree.  The woman’s meal had already been taken to her and so did some side dishes for the mans meal.  As I was grabbing the woman’s meal, I saw what I assumed was my dish being almost done.  I rush the meal to the woman and for what it seemed, all was fine.  Fifteen minutes later the meal still wasn’t ready so I apologize to the man and immediately find my way in the kitchen to grab the mans food.  The manager following me with the other things that came with his meal, we act with haste only to be halted by the man saying, “I do not want this, take it back”, “This is the worst experience I’ve ever had” and among other things causing quite a commotion over something so menial, all while his wife finishes off her meal(I know, how classy).  Now don’t get me wrong, I know that 15 minutes is quite some time but I don’t think he took care of the situation gracefully.  Had he not been a jackass he would’ve got taken care of like a king but instead he decides to be a child and actually raise his voice in a dining room full of people.

There are better ways of taking care of a situation like this, and let me tell you, it isn’t to be a fuckin asshole.  I ended up giving them all they had for free, just so I could get them to leave quietly.  No tip, no nothing, just a table that needs to be cleaned and a attitude of bitterness and resentment.  If you ever get in a position like this, please have some decency to act like a human, chances are you’d get free food, alcohol and we both don’t end up hating each other.  Nothing is gained by causing a scene, only loss of respect.

Please take my word on this.  Give us the respect you’d give your wife, mother or loved one and we promise that your stay with us will be as good.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.

(Though the man reminded me so much of Gordon Ramsay, because he was British and had nothing good to say about my restaurant…)

I came in the US with my family, with little money and enough English to find out where the bathroom is.  We lived in a not so good neighborhood, for lack of better words, I lived in the ghetto.  It has been at the very least 12 years since I last step foot in this hell hole, I mean I moved out of there as soon as I can and so did my family.  After both my flights we’re delayed and I was forced to sleep in the airport overnight, I finally get to my destination.

This city is so dead, so empty with barely anything to do and this came off as a complete shock to me.  No restaurants, no bars and more than anything, nothing to do.  I met up with some friends that I haven’t seen in quite some time, both we’re almost identical as when I left, it was bizarre.  One was now a drug dealer while the other worked as a manager in a convenience store.  Immediately I asked to eat at some of the places I used to eat at when we we’re younger.  Growing up, I came to enjoy ethnic food a lot and when I saw that most of the places I ate at are still live and kicking I was excited.

Food just tastes so much better when it has been quite some time since you’ve touched them and the food that cost no more than $7 was probably as good as the NY Strip Reserve that I ate at my restaurant.  Glorious.

Second day came and I found myself in the shopping district, I decided to buy myself some clothes since I came rather unprepared.  Spent quite some money and decided to take my friend to a sushi restaurant, as he was my host I decided that the very least I could do was to feed him and being well versed in fish, this was perfect.  We ordered nothing but Sashimi and Nigiri, two rolls came as an exception.  The restaurant was a little hole in the wall but surprisingly it had quite a lot of reviews on Yelp! and they we’re extremely short staffed(at least when we came in).  One sushi chef and one server, they didn’t have a back kitchen with Hispanics helping out, it was a two person effort.

The fish was fairly fresh and my friend was able to try out Sea Urchin, and he wasn’t completely appalled by the taste and texture and actually quite enjoyed it(unless he was lying off course).  All in all it was quite a delicious meal, I spoke to them in Japanese and they seemed to enjoy it.  The bill came to a total of $80, not bad and off-course I tipped generously.  Nothing hurts more than the Restaurant Gods not bringing me any luck.

I apologize for the lack of posts this past week, I’m planning on writing more during this vacation, as much as I can.  Hopefully you haven’t forgotten about me.

Sincerely,

Your waiter today.